while I'm lacking photos

More dreams of my grandmother's house, from last night.

My family was going to see my grandparents and aunts and uncles and somehow I ended up having a tiny bunny with me to take care of. It was no one's, so now it had to be mine. (Just so you know, I'm allergic to everything and my family has never had any pets and I don't even consider myself as an animal person. And my family is propably even less animal people.) I did my best to hide the bunny from my grandparents, and after it failed, from my other relatives. That too failed because the bunny kept running away whenever I took my eyes off him (I kind of thought of Peter Rabbit when I saw it, so I decided it was a he) and soon there were four bunnies instead of one (Peter had tripled not given birth) and it was dark and they were tiny and I was big. At some stage I fed the original bunny fruity muesli because I had no idea what bunnies eat and thought muesli must be the closest match in the house. There was also a fifth bunny that wasn't a bunny but a cat with a sweater and I threw the cat out the door so it wouldn't eat my bunnies.

I was cleaning up the tiny sandy beach next to the sauna so that they could sell the house. It was autumn and there were a lot yellow and brown leaves in the water and on the shore. The water was very clear but for some reason I think of it being brown anyway. Maybe it's because of the leaves and wet sand. The shoreline was full of trash but what caught my eye was my old silver grey hair trimmer and its green-blue plastic parts (from the time I used to cut all of my hair off) in the lake, underwater, just a step from the shore. I put those in the plastic bag I had brought with me for the trash. Next I picked up some black cast iron pieces that looked like giant burnt matchsticks with those round curved heads. Where the water was knee-deep there were some large plastic toy dinosaurs stuck in the bottom. They were up on their feet, sunken but not heavy enough to not be moved by the waves. So there they were, the dinosaurs moving back and forth, underwater. They has lost their original coat of paint and only the colours of the plastic core remained. Each dinosaur was made of more than one colour of plastic; one was definitely red and blue, like it was made of some left over plastic, with the two colours poorly mixed together so that the end result wasn't exactly marbled but something along those lines. When I reached out for the dinosaurs a large reddish-brown snake wrapped itself around my arm. I wasn't really scared, I was more frustrated about having forgotten I ought to be wary of snakes. (Snakes are hardly a real threat there being only one poisonous species of snakes in Finland but I dream of snakes anyway.)

I feel like I should add that I don't use stuff I shouldn't use.


Last night I dreamt of blogging. I had two photographs. The first was of me riding my new bicycle (it was one of those granny style bicycles, a red one if I remember correctly), it was yesterday but actually summer already and my hair was longer. The second one was of me sleeping today. It was taken very close up, you could count my eyelashes if you wanted to (there aren't very little of those), and the pillowcase was bright white instead of the red it really is. I just really wanted to share those photos with you, they were beautiful and I looked genuinely happy. In the dream I ended up just writing you the words yesterday and today even though I wanted to tell you everything about how I got the bike and who took the photo of me sleeping.

In another dream I thought about how much times have changed, how there used to be dinosaurs everywhere around this time of year when I was a child; how in the recent years there had only been some; and how this year I had not seen a single dinosaur. This is how old I am.

I don't want to go home.